


Answer

by bjfic_archivist



Category: Queer as Folk (US)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2004-11-02
Updated: 2004-11-02
Packaged: 2018-12-29 02:07:26
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,029
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12072348
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bjfic_archivist/pseuds/bjfic_archivist
Summary: What if the doctor's weren't able to prevent Brian's cancer from spreading?





	Answer

**Author's Note:**

> Note from IrishCaelan, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [The Brian/Justin Fanfiction Archive](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Brian_Justin_Fanfiction_Archive). To preserve the archive, I began importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in September 2017. I posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [The Brian/Justin Fanfiction Archive collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/bjfic/profile).

\-- I will be the answer  
At the end of the line  
I will be there for you  
While you take the time --   
*This song “Answer” is sung beautifully by the talented Sarah McLachlan* 

 

Justin Taylor ignored the biting cold that only the early hours of winter morning could bring. He tried to ignore the sting as the snow he was kneeling upon seeped into his cargo pants. All that he was aware of were his fingers as they traced themselves against the letters engraved in the cool marble stone. First they danced over the B, then the R, and when they stopped at the letter I, his fingers could go no further. Before he knew it, tears began cascading down his face. Breakaways from their ocean blue prison. 

It had been months since Brian Kinney had died, but the emotional pain was still fresh and bled often in the form of Justin’s tears. But Justin knew he had to be strong, Brian would have wanted him to be that way. In fact Brian would have been pissed off if he knew that Justin was still grieving over him. In the end, the pain would subside to a dull ache. But the emptiness would always be there.

\-- In the burning of uncertainty  
I will be your solid ground  
I will hold the balance  
If you can't look down --

*Flashback*

Brian choked and coughed as he tried to down his tomato soup. On the other side of the table, Justin swiftly stood up from his seat. In a second he was instantly by Brian’s side, rubbing soothing circles on his lover’s back. Brian grimaced in pain and abruptly shoved Justin away from him. Justin wasn’t surprised to find himself being pushed back; he stayed rooted to the spot. “Go sit back down,” Brian ordered gruffly. Justin sighed audibly but obeyed Brian’s orders none the less. The two resumed eating in stubborn silence until….

“It started spreading,” Brian’s voice echoed throughout the loft.

He watched as Justin lifted his eyes from his plate; eyes wide with horrification. “How? Why?” Justin managed to sputter out. Brian snorted scathingly and leaned back in his chair. “Because cancer is a persistent little fucker. I thought that they had gotten it, but apparently there was another undetected tumor and it managed to spread,” Brian tried to explain calmly even though inside was a whirlwind of emotion. “You’ve relapsed?” Justin asked. Brian raised his eyebrows in confirmation. “Are you going to die?” Justin asked; the crack in his voice evident. “Not today,” Brian stated simply.

The sound of Justin slamming both of his hands down on the table as he stood up made Brian jump in his seat. 

“It’s because of the fucking Liberty Ride,” Justin growled. “It’s not just because of the Liberty Ride,” Brian argued back. 

“You’re right; it’s not just because of the ride. It’s because you can’t fucking listen to the doctor’s orders. He told you to relax and you didn’t. Goddamn it Brian, you always manage to push yourself too far. You never think of the consequences or the people involved. You never think of me. I’m one of those people involved. I’ve bent over backwards to try and pretend like nothing is wrong. But it’s killing me inside to just stand aside and watch you slowly die. You’re such a selfish prick, Brian. You were born one and now you’ll die one. Good riddance, at least I won’t have to put up with this shit ever again,” despite all his anger filled words, tears started cascading down Justin’s face. And suddenly, before Brian could react, Justin completely broke down into heart wrenching sobs. 

Brian swallowed a couple of times before he slowly stood from his seat. Taking easy, calculated steps towards his distressed lover, Brian slowly opened his arms in an invitation. Justin didn’t hesitate; Brian found his arms full of his younger lover. “You stupid son of a bitch,” Justin sniffed bitterly. “I know,” Brian whispered into Justin’s hair as he soothingly rubbed Justin’s back.

*End flashback*

\-- If it takes my whole life  
I won't break, I won't bend  
It will all be worth it  
Worth it in the end --

Justin eventually stood up from his kneeling position despite his protesting knees. He brushed off the excess snow from his pants and rubbed his hands together for warmth. It was extremely cold and gloomy this morning. It suited his mood. He sighed and started to make his way out of the graveyard. Cars rushed passed him and people brushed past talking to their companions with easy smiles on their faces. It seemed strange. Being inside the graveyard seemed like a whole different world. Peaceful and calming. When reality hit you in the face once you’ve stepped out of that word, it became domineering and frightening. Justin hoped that wherever Brian was, he was at peace now.

It had been months since Justin had last seen the old gang. Since his funeral, everyone kind of drifted their own ways. As far as he knew, Melanie and Lindsey were still together. Melanie had given birth to a baby girl days after Brian’s death. Justin hadn’t been able to come around and see her. Once in a while, Justin would run into Ted or Emmett or Michael and Ben. A few casual words would be exchanged, but that would be it. Michael had invited Justin back to the diner just to visit Debbie. Since Justin had quit weeks after Brian’s death, Debbie hadn’t the chance to see her precious little Sunshine. 

It pained Justin to realize that he had been tying himself off from the rest of his friends. He missed Debbie the most. Her infectious laugh, bubbly demeanor, and vulgar terminology was everything that he needed right now. Before he knew what was happening, Justin found his steps leading him back towards Liberty Diner.

\-- Cause I can only tell you what I know  
That I need you in my life  
When the stars have all gone out  
You'll still be burning so bright --

*flashback*

Justin threw open the door and practically flew into the loft. His smile was stretched from ear to ear and the hand clutching the envelope trembled with excitement. “Brian,” Justin called out. “In the bedroom,” Brian answered. Justin bounded up the steps and paused. His lover was poised on the bed, snuggled comfortably under the sheets, reading. Despite having lost a lot of weight and becoming considerably weaker, Brian still managed to take Justin’s breath away. 

“Who threw the fire down your panties?” Brian teased. Justin flashed him the envelope. “London,” he said simply. “I didn’t know the British were into fire play. Kinky,” Brian smirked. “No you dumbass, London is going to host some of my paintings at their Chandreli Gallery,” Justin gushed as he launched himself onto the bed. Brian took the envelope from him and pulled out the letter. Justin watched attentively as his older lover read the letter slowly. “I’m extremely proud of you, Sunshine,” Brian breathed afterwards.

Justin blinked. Brian never said he was proud of him, ever. Justin smiled and leaned forward to kiss him gently on the lips. “Thank you,” he whispered against Brian’s lips. In response, Brian kissed Justin with a little more passion. 

Justin got the hint and soon the simple peck became that of a blazing, passionate flame. Justin felt himself being gently pulled on top of Brian’s body. He willingly allowed Brian to pull of his grey turtle neck sweater; smiling shyly down at Brian. Slowly Justin leaned down and placed peppered kisses along Brian’s neck as his hands glided their way down Brian’s body and found his cloth covered crotch. Gently he began kneading Brian through his sweatpants. Much to both of their delight, Brian swelled beneath the provocative caress. 

Justin hooked his thumbs around the waistband of Brian’s sweatpants, and with the help of his lover, managed to slide them off. Justin grinned wickedly at Brian and made a slowly decent down Brian’s body; placing butterfly kisses here and there. Brian closed his eyes and threw his head back the moment he felt Justin’s tongue swirl around his navel. He gasped when he felt the wet appendage dip itself into his belly button. 

Justin grinned to himself. Brian wasn’t very vocal when they made love, but he felt accomplished when Brian did make some noise. Justin turned his attention to Brian’s engorged cock. It was leaking precum and demanding the talented attention of Justin’s mouth. 

Brian arched the moment he felt his cock being engulfed completely by Justin’s mouth. He grabbed frantically at the sheets as Justin set to work. Slowly Justin would pull back as he sucked and as he came back down he swirled his tongue around the shaft. Brian grunted as Justin picked up the pace, slightly grazing Brian’s cock with his teeth as he pulled back. Justin flicked the head of Brian’s cock with the tip of his tongue systematically as his hands found their way to Brian’s balls. Gently massaging them as he licked and sucked, Justin knew that his lover wouldn’t be able to last long.

Justin was perfectly fine with Brian coming in his mouth, after all this for Brian anyway. But Brian surprised him the moment Justin felt Brian’s hands at his shoulders, trying to push him away. “Brian?” Justin questioned, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. 

Without saying anything, Brian reached over to the night stand and pulled out a condom and the lube. Justin smirked in understanding and pulled back. He watched as Brian ripped the wrapper open with both hands gingerly. Justin was about to lay back but stopped at the look on Brian’s face. The man had his handsome features scrunched into a frown as he stared at the condom, as if contemplating something as complex as a word problem. 

Finally, once again to Justin’s surprise, Brian tossed aside the condom and grabbed the lube instead. Justin watched as Brian squirted a generous amount into his hands and rub them together to warm the jelly up. Justin grinned as Brian leaned forward to place a passionate kiss on his lips. Justin closed his eyes as the kiss deepened and became more demanding. His eyes flew open and he gasped the moment he felt Brian’s warm hands on his cock, lathering it with the lube. 

Justin could only blink owlishly as Brian finished his task and lay back against the pillows. He swallowed as his handsome lover spread his legs invitingly. 

Slowly, Justin leaned forward until he was on his hands and knees. “Are you sure?” he whispered. Brian nodded, his breath coming out in a shaky exhalation. Justin threw him a tentative smile and crawled forward. Brian smiled back and lifted his chin as Justin pressed reassuring kisses around his neck and shoulders. Brian had let Justin top him once before. Only because he was tired and had just spent a couple of hours in a holding cell the night before. 

But now this time… this time was different. Brian felt it in his body. He was getting weaker; becoming more tired each and everyday. He knew his time was coming, he just didn’t expect it to come so soon. 

What made their love making so different from the other times they fucked was the situation in itself. They were going to make love, not fuck. Though he would never tell Justin, the reason why Brian decided not to use the condom was so that he could feel his lover’s release inside him. He wanted a little bit of Justin to take with him into the next world. Never the sentimental type, Brian knew he was going out on a risky limb. But it was definitely a risk he was willing to take.

Brian cringed the moment he felt Justin’s index finger coated with lube enter him. “Go easy,” he murmured to his younger lover. He felt rather than saw Justin nod in understanding. Brian let loose a sigh when Justin’s finger brushed against his prostate and he visibly relaxed. Justin took the moment to enter a second finger. Brian gritted his teeth but forced himself to relax, which seemed to work since he wasn’t feeling that much discomfort.

Both of Justin’s fingers flicked themselves across Brian’s prostate which caused the old man to throw his head back and cry out as the electric pleasure zipped through his body. “Feel good?” Justin inquired with a small grin as he gave Brian’s prostate another flick. “Inside me,” Brian breathed out erratically.

Justin slowly pulled out his fingers and rubbed more lube onto his cock. He was so hard and willing, that Justin felt like he was going to explode. Slowly, with Brian’s hand on his cock for guidance, Justin pushed himself into Brian’s body. 

Justin gasped in pleasure. Brian tossed his head back onto the pillows and cried out with pleasure and pain. Justin felt the intense heat wrapped around his cock. Brian felt the content fullness and persistent stretch inside him. Both men felt the connection as they looked into each other’s eyes. 

“Brian,” Justin breathed as he began to piston his cock in and out of Brian’s body.

“Justin,” Brian whimpered as one hand wrapped around Justin’s forearm and the other gripping the pillow beneath his head. “You feel incredible,” Justin gasped as he picked up speed, the bed protesting slightly beneath them. “Incredible,” was all Brian could say as he screwed his eyes shut.

Soon Justin found his muscles weakening and he could no longer hold himself up. He allowed his body to drape against Brian’s has he continued to move in and out of him in fevered pace. Justin breathed hotly against Brian’s neck as the older man wrapped his legs around Justin’s waist, allowing a deeper penetration. “God,” Brian groaned as he felt Justin’s cock stab his prostate with every other thrust. Soon Justin was thrusting with such force that Brian felt his body being pushed up and down against the sheets. He grinned with pleasure, turning his head to kiss Justin feverishly. 

Before he could give a warning, Brian cried out and came in an explosion; his semen coating his and Justin’s bellies. Justin’s eyes flew open as Brian tightened around him in a vice like grip. He gave a few more thrusts, practically lifting Brian off the bed with the power of his thrusts. He gave a guttural groan and pressed as deep as he could go inside Brian before finally letting go. 

Brian stared at the ceiling in wonder the moment he felt warmth gush throughout his body. Justin groaned and his whole body went limp once he finished ejaculating. He sighed and began to pull out as he cock started to soften. “Wait,” Brian gasped, holding Justin close to him. “Stay,” Brian said, looking deeply into Justin’s searching gaze. 

Justin nodded and rested his head against Brian’s shoulder. Brian smiled and closed his eyes. Both men soon fell asleep with Justin still inside of Brian. The connection still there. The connection always having been there.

*End flashback*

\-- Cast me gently  
Into morning  
For the night has been unkind  
Take me to a  
Place so holy  
That I can wash this from my mind  
The memory of choosing not to fight --

“Sunshine!” Debbie practically screamed the moment she looked up at the sound of the chiming bell only to look into ocean blue eyes. Justin smiled apologetically at her. “Hey Debbie,” he greeted as though he had seen her just yesterday. Debbie laughed with glee and hurried over to him to wrap him around in a bone crushing hug. “Where the fuck have you been?” she demanded. “I believe it is, How the fuck have I been,” Justin corrected her. “Yeah, well that too,” Debbie added in an afterthought. 

She propped her hands on her hips and stared determinedly at Justin; waiting for an explanation. Justin set his coat down on the nearest stool and motioned for Debbie to sit down. Debbie promptly did so. “I’ve been good, I’ll be graduating soon and next month will be moving to London,” Justin explained and smiled at a waitress who came by to take his order. “Black coffee please,” Justin ordered and watched as the waitress scribble it down. “Brian always ordered black coffee,” Debbie pointed out. Justin could only nod and averted his gaze.

“How have you been Sunshine, really,” Debbie asked solemnly. “Fine,” Justin answered curtly. He wasn’t expecting to be consoled by Debbie. He did enough grieving on his own time. He didn’t need to do it on someone else’s. “Bullshit,” Debbie spat out. Justin rolled his eyes.

“You don’t pick up your phone, you don’t stop by to say hello, you avoid all of us like the plague,” Debbie ticked off the excuses by her fingers. “And to top it all off, you’re moving out of the country,” Debbie threw her hands up exasperatedly. “For a good reason,” Justin explained through gritted teeth. 

“And what reason is that?” Debbie demanded. “I’ve been offered a job in teaching art at one of the top universities in England,” Justin explained, expecting Debbie to be impressed. She wasn’t. “England shmingland,” she brushed off, “it seems to me that you’re running away from your problems,” she concluded. “Who’s running away?” Justin demanded. Debbie looked at him pointedly. 

“It’s just too painful,” Justin sighed in defeat. “That’s why were here,” Debbie said softly. “But you all are apart of the pain,” Justin admitted, “being with you just brings back too many memories,” he added. “It’s better to remember than to forget,” Debbie said simply.

\-- If it takes my whole life  
I won't break, I won't bend  
It will all be worth it  
Worth it in the end --

*flashback*

Justin’s back was hurting and he tried shifting in the hard vinyl chair for a better position. He tried to concentrate on the magazine he was reading, but the incessant beeping of the life support system kept gnawing at the back of his mind. However, it was the only indication that Brian was still fighting for the last few hours of his life. The doctors had predicated that Brian would pass away in the middle of the night or during the early hours of the morning.

Justin glanced up from his magazine and let his gaze land on his sleeping lover. Even in the state of slumber, Brian looked troubled. It was as if he was fighting an internal battle to survive the night. Justin sighed at glanced up at the clock. It was past eight. Michael and Ben had gone home, having been by Brian’s side for the past forty eight hours. Ted, Emmett and Hunter had gone to buy some dinner for the rest of the gang. Melanie, Lindsey, and Gus were in the next hospital room, where Gus and Lindsey were sleeping soundly for the time being. Cynthia and Debbie had gone down to the cafeteria to grab a cup of coffee.

Gus, Justin’s thoughts trailed back to the little boy. Gus still didn’t understand the concept of death. But for some reason, the little boy understood that Brian would no longer be in his life. It seemed that he was taking it relatively well, but one day Justin came home to find Brian and Gus in the bed; Brian was asleep but the boy was awake, tears welling up in his pretty eyes. Gus had abruptly leant forward and rested his head against his father’s chest. Soon he fell asleep to the beating of Brian’s heart. Everyday, up until the day Brian had to be hospitalized; Brian and Gus were practically inseparable. 

“Knock, knock,” Cynthia murmured cheerfully as pushed open the door. Justin smiled gratefully at her as she handed him his coffee. “All black,” she quoted when Justin took an experimental sip. “Thank you,” Justin said. Cynthia smiled in response. “Do you want a doughnut, Sunshine?” Debbie asked the moment she stepped into the room. “No thanks, I’m not hungry,” Justin declined. “All the better for me,” Debbie crowed and sat down next to Cynthia.

The trio drank and munched in silence. 

Suddenly Brian jerked awake, expelling a hacking cough. Justin flew up from his seat and rushed to Brian’s side. Brian shook spasmodically and coughed up some blood. “Oh god, Brian,” Justin whimpered. “Get the doctor,” his order directed to either Cynthia or Debbie. Cynthia ran off to get a doctor and Debbie ran next door to rouse Lindsey, Gus, and Melanie. 

Brian wheezed and choked, desperately trying to regain breath. “Brian, it’s okay,” Justin chanted like a mantra. He squeezed Brian’s hands and searched his face desperately. Brian’s features were scrunched up in pain. Someone barged in through the door and Justin glanced over his shoulder looking from Debbie, to Lindsey, next onto Melanie, and finally his gaze rested on a terrified looking Gus.

Soon after them Cynthia and Doctor Murdock, the current doctor who had been monitoring Brian, came rushing in. “Excuse me, Mr. Taylor,” Dr. Murdock gently pushed Justin aside. “Mr. Kinney, try to relax,” Dr. Murdock said soothingly as she placed a breathing mask over Brian’s mouth. Next she pulled a syringe from her pocket. The vial contained a red liquid. Dr. Murdock searched for a vein in Brian’s arm, having found one; she pressed the tip of the needle against and inside the vein. Everyone watched with baited breath as the red liquid slowly made its descent into Brian’s system.

“What was that,” Justin questioned once Dr. Murdock pulled the needle away. “A sedative. To help with the unintentional panic attacks,” Dr. Murdock explained sadly. 

Brian is calm now, Justin thought to himself as he looked back to the man who had now fallen back asleep. “Is Brian going to make it through the night?” Melanie asked the question everyone else was afraid to ask. “I’m afraid not,” Dr. Murdock admitted. Lindsey let loose a sob and turned to hide her face against Melanie’s neck. Justin felt his whole world crash down on him. “Do you know an estimate of the time when he finally will pass away?” Cynthia croaked. “Unfortunately I can’t tell you that for I don’t know myself. All we can do is continue to monitor him,” Dr. Murdock explained. 

“Thank you doctor,” Justin replied, allowing that as a cue for her to leave the room. Dr. Murdock gave a sad smile. “I’m terribly sorry about this,” she murmured and left the room. “I’ll call Michael and Ben,” Debbie announced into the grave atmosphere of the room. “Ted, Emmett, and Hunter should be back soon,” Melanie informed everyone else present in the room while she consoled a sobbing Lindsey. Both Cynthia and Gus remained gravely quiet.

Soon everyone was congregated in Brian’s room. Sniffling and sobbing echoed bounced off the white, pristine walls. Michael and Lindsey, having known Brian the longest, were crying the hardest. Debbie, being the tough cookie she was, only succumbed to silent tears. 

“Will everyone save that shit for later, I’m not dead yet,” Brian croaked irritably. “Oh my god, Brian,” Lindsey gasped as she rushed over to his side. “Hey Lindz,” Brian greeted with a small smile. Lindsey barked a short laugh and abruptly hugged Brian. “Easy Lindz,” Brian grimaced. “Sorry,” Lindsey quickly backed off. Brian reached up, his hand shaking slightly, and tugged on one of Lindsey’s tendrils. “I don’t want to hear that sorry shit,” Brian said firmly. Lindsey nodded in understanding.

Brian coughed once, and grimaced in pain. “Listen you guys, I don’t have much time. I can feel it in my body. I’m just too tired to go on,” Brian explained hoarsely. Justin felt tears welling up in his eyes. “Don’t say that,” Michael hissed. “Shut up you fucker, I know when it’s my time to go. I’m the one dying here,” Brian tried to be funny; it only cracked a few sad smiles around the room.

“Listen, I just want to have a few words with each and everyone of you. Therefore, what I have to say to one person falls on their ears only,” Brian looked from face to face, searching for comprehension, “I’m going to start with Michael, so everyone leave the room,” Brian ordered. Despite his frail state, when Brian Kinney orders people around, it’s best that those orders are obeyed.

Justin shut the door behind him, since he was the last to leave the room, and leaned heavily on it. He noticed that everyone was looking everywhere else but at each other, and that bothered the hell out of him. Before too long, everyone had been called into the room except Justin. “It’s your turn,” Emmett tapped Justin on the shoulder; his eyes red and his nose stuffed. Justin nodded and entered the room.

The beeping of the life support system echoed around the room as Justin snapped the door shut behind him. “Will you listen to that shit, it’s fucking driving me crazy,” Brian spoke first, his voice sounding stronger. “It’s been driving me crazy far longer than it has for you,” Justin sighed as he took the seat next to the bed that Brian had been indicating. Brian laughed a genuine laugh. And for a moment it wasn’t as if Brian was sick at all. A tear slipped from Justin’s eye before he could stop himself. 

Brian reached up and brushed away the lone tear. Justin smiled in thanks and reached up to grab a hold of Brian’s hand. Brian stared at their entwined hands for a moment. 

“I’m sorry,” he whispered, his voice quivering.

Justin raised an eyebrow. “Sorry for what?” he asked innocently. “I’m sorry for not being able to treat you better. I’m sorry for not giving you what you needed the most. I’m sorry for treating you like you didn’t matter,” Brian’s voice began to crack. Justin leaned forward and pressed his forehead against Brian’s. “But I am not sorry for loving you the way I did. The only way I knew how. Because even if you didn’t know it, and I didn’t show it, you meant more to me than anything else in this world. I may have lived a short life, but it was a fortunate one to have you apart of it,” Brian breathed.

“I knew it Brian, I knew it,” Justin whispered. Surprisingly he wasn’t crying. “You’ve taught me so much Justin, and I want to thank you,” Brian continued. His voice hitched and he started coughing. “Jesus,” Justin reached back and started patting Brian on his back. “Justin,” Brian wheezed. Justin pressed his lips against Brian’s in a passionate kiss. “Justin, I love you,” Brian croaked. 

Justin smiled through his wall of tears. “I love you too,” he replied. “You love me,” Brian whispered. Justin nodded. “You love me,” Brian sighed and closed his eyes. Justin felt Brian go limp and suddenly the shrill whine of the life support system went off. Justin’s eyes widened slightly. He pulled Brian into his arms and held him close. “Oh Brian,” he whimpered as the tears began to flow freely. 

*end flashback*

\-- 'Cause I can only tell you what I know  
That I need you in my life  
When the stars have all burned out  
You'll still be burning so bright --

Justin stopped himself from knocking on the door. What the hell was he doing here? Why the hell did he accept Debbie’s invitation to go to her house for a get together? He hadn’t seen everyone in a long time; he wasn’t so sure if they’d accept him back. Brian’s words drifted into his head, the same words that he had said when Justin had fucked up as Brian’s intern and Brian fired him. It ended in a fiery kiss. ‘Get some balls,’ Brian had said. Justin balled up his fist and knocked on the door.

Michael answered it. “Justin!” he greeted with a huge smile. Justin found himself wrapped around the arms of his enthusiastic friend. “Holy shit, it’s been a long time since I last saw you! You look great!” Michael gushed, holding Justin away from arms length. Justin laughed. “You look good too Michael,” he complimented. “Just good?” Michael asked in mock offense. “You looking fucking hot,” Justin corrected himself. “Much better,” Michael grinned. 

Michael looked so healthy, so happy. Justin realized. He was sure that Brian’s death burned a gaping hole in Michael’s heart, but it wasn’t showing. Michael had a lot more emotional strength then people gave him credit for. Well, if Michael can do it, Justin thought to himself. He took a deep breath and stepped out of the freezing cold and into Debbie’s warm and humble abode. “Just hang your coat on the coat rack, we’re all in the kitchen,” Michael directed.

He left Justin to do the task. Justin took his time hanging up his coat. Laughter, Lindsey’s cheerful laugh, floated through the air. “He made those many stink bombs in your chemistry class in one hour?” her disembodied voice asked incredulously. “That’s nothing, if you can imagine the stench they gave off once they exploded,” Michael gushed. Everyone laughed. Justin smiled to himself.

“How about that time in college you told me about Lindsey,” Melanie piped up. “I don’t know,” Lindsey said with uncertainty. “Oh come on Lindz, tell us,” Hunter tried to probe out of her. “Well it was when I first met him, I didn’t want anything to do with him at first because he seemed like a complete asshole,” Lindsey began. “The Brian we all came to know and love,” Melanie added in. 

“Sunshine, where the fuck are you? Get your bubble butt in here!” Debbie hollered. Justin chuckled. “I’m coming,” he hollered back. He stepped into the kitchen, where everyone from Cynthia to Ted were sitting comfortably around the table. Michael stood up and pulled out Brian’s usual seat for him. Justin smiled in thanks and sat down. “Sorry I’m late everyone, horrible traffic,” he apologized, “please Lindsey, continue your story,” he added to Lindsey. She smiled. 

\-- Cast me gently  
Into morning  
For the night has been unkind --


End file.
